Yesterday, Rahul G. said, "Yahaan sirf insaan nahin, janwar bhi sochtea hain". (Here not only humans, but animals too think). I read news papers. They did neither report nor twist his remarks. I still feel it is a well thought out remark, written by some Jungle Animal. So, I thought, why not? Dr. Jagdish Chandra Bose said long time ago, tress would have life, they would be born, would grow, would think and would die. The only difference between humans and trees was that they wont move unless they were "red sandalwood" tress that would move from country to country.
So, Rahul deseves a Doctorate for his thinking on animal thinking and behavior, from any Veterinary University, preferebly from Bihar from where Lalu hails or from Bengal from where Dr. Amartya sen hails. Let us hope Nobel Committee too introduces an award on "Animal Science". Good days are ahead by 2047,when India completes 100 years of independence, by which time Rahul hopes to be fully mature.
Dharka Bhutt, the all-knowing, school drop-out 24x7 anchor, cum talk-show host, cum interviewer woke up suddenly at 5 AM. She brushed her teeth, washed her face, applied full make-up from an Italian make-up kit, (given to her by some Leyueten's resident, no quid pro quo), changed her dress, took the mike set, called the camera man to come to the nearest cow-shed, owned by an RJD leader and was rushing out. Her husband just woke up, was surprised to see her ready so early and asked, "What are you upto, so early?"
"I want to prove cows too think. Or secularism will bein jeopardy. No one in Gandhi family,with a brain, talks without thinking". She was panting. " All know he has no brain", murmered her husband inaudibly and snored again.
By the time she reached the shed one very fat, white cow was alone. All others went to Lalu farm, a meter away, to graze. Cameraman stopped her with difficulty and focussed camera on her and at a place where Darkha can also stand with mike.
"Hi!" said Darkha.
"Hi!" said the white cow.
"So, you can talk? "
" You aaa thoo dhumb! 'en vi can thilk canth vi thalk?" the cow replied.
"But your English seems peculiar"
"Yeahhh! waka, waka Im flom Aaprika! "
"Oh! you are from Africa? " She is restive now.
"Dont worry, I can speak your language too. Ask questions"
8"You know the PM to be in 2047, Rahul said you could think. What are you thinking now?"
"See, we are secular animals. White, black., yellow,multi color cows live together. But now you guys are making us communal."
" How is that? "
Previously, we were being slaughtered by you guys. Now you stopped it. I have an enemy, an Yellow cow, that I want to be slaughtered. But, you are not allowing. How can I take revenge? "
" But you said you were secular."
" When we can think, cant we have feelings? Are secular animals forbid to have feelings?"
" No! No! I just asked. But, why do you want to be slaughtered?"
"They feed grass, sometimes they leave us in fields, use our urine as medicine, gobar as fertilizer n gas, make chappals from skin and take milk, add water, sell, buy grass again, feed us and it is a cycle. How many years will you use us?."
" But you are not paying for grass or other food. You need not search for for food. All are free. Why should you grumble? "
" I did not get your point. You use our services and give us freebies. Why cant you recognize our services and pay suitably. Sab Ke Saath, Sab ka Vikas".
" That is communal slogan. You should not use it. Unless we use all the products coming from you and sell them after duly adulterating them, how can we give healthy food freely to you. That is how economy works. We are not making you do hard work like bulls, no? We use you and we are useful to you. You can ask Dr. Amartya Sen.
" Who is this? "
He is an Economist in USA and thinks about India only. Secular to the core."
"What does he do?"
"He comes from USA, gives interviews to me and goes back. Dont know what he does in USA. And RW BP increases. They troll me."
" Just as you are doing to me. But what is RW? "
Before Darkha could answer, other grazing cows rushed angrily, thinking that humans are out to slaughter their fellow creature."
The white cow laughed and said, " All I said was bull.... We are all one and we think also so".
From next day, the channel aired 24x7, fully edited parts of the interview and dissected what Rahul said. He said "ban on slaughter of animals was wrong and animals too thought so."
India breathed easy as they were sure he was not under the infuence of Sabbbatical Treatment.
But,I got fever thinking about this silly remark and losing a whole night's sleep.