Wednesday, August 12, 2015

DNA IS IN NDA - NITISH JEE- ARE YOU PLAYING TAMASHA "POLL" ERY OR TOM FOOLERY?

THE BAIT:

Modi offered it. Nitish accepted the bet. Lalu is the doubles' player who can serve aces better, as he already served jail term on conviction, (Shah was exonerated of all charges. Under-trials are different from those of convicts. Nitish may be ignorant).

The bet is DNA of Nitish. Wittingly or unwittingly, Nitish equated his DNA to that of all Biharis, that count to 10,38,04,637 as per 2011 census, out of which 85% live in villages, density of population is the highest in India, at 1000, 65.43% are literate, female illiteracy is very high, 58% are below 25 years of age, Human Development Index (HDI) is 21st among Indian states, ranked very poor. (Nitish says he has developed the state. He had his problems of course. Can’t blame him totally)  So, out of these 10,38,04,637 population Nitish vowed to collect DNA samples of 50,00,000, about 5% before polls, hoping to reap electoral benefits.

The bait is there only. Modi vows that he is an Indian first and a Gujarati next. As he was CM of Gujarat, he developed that state. As PM, he is developing the whole nation. He never equated his DNA with that of Gujaratis. But, by adopting a narrow posture of, "I, Bihari and you are all Biharis" Nitish exposed his narrow mind set. "Sab ka Sath Sab ka Vikas" is Modi motto. Biharis are spread all over India and we know what has happened in Mumbai. Now, why blame it on Shiva Sena or MNS for narrow parochialism? If Nitish were Indian, he would have declared he was an Indian and collected DNA of 5% of Indians, viz. 7.5 crore. And what should we say of the DNA of a man, who loiters with a convict on bail and mocks an under-trial, who was exonerated of all charges?

WHAT IS DNA:

"A genealogical DNA test looks at a person's genome at specific locations. Results give information about genealogy or personal ancestry. In general, these tests compare the results of an individual to others from the same lineage or to current and historic ethnic groups. The test results are not meant for medical use, where different types of genetic testing are needed. They do not determine specific genetic diseases or disorders (see possible exceptions in Medical information below). They are intended only to give genealogical information."

HOW SAMPLES ARE COLLECTED:

Procedure:

"Taking a genealogical DNA test requires the submission of a DNA sample. This is usually a painless process. The most common way to collect a DNA sample is by a cheek-scraping (also known as a buccal swab). Other methods include spit-cups, mouthwash, and chewing gum. After collection, the sample is mailed to a testing lab."

"A genealogical DNA test looks at a person's genome at specific locations. Results give information about genealogy or personal ancestry. In general, these tests compare the results of an individual to others from the same lineage or to current and historic ethnic groups. The test results are not meant for medical use, where different types of genetic testing are needed. They do not determine specific genetic diseases or disorders (see possible exceptions in Medical information below). They are intended only to give genealogical information."

Source:  Various Medical publication as quoted verbatim in Wiki.

DOES NITISH KNOW WHY HAIR AND NAIL SAMPLES ARE COLLECTED: 


Forensic analysis of hair samples in order to extract DNA is a method commonly used for the purpose of identification in both criminal investigations as well as parental DNA testing. It is in many ways, however, the most overestimated and misrepresented DNA sample. People often assume hair samples make ideal samples for DNA testing. This notion might perhaps be due to the way hair samples are so often seen collected in detective crime fiction series and how solving the crime invariably hinges on finding such a sample. Nevertheless, whilst hair samples can be accurately used for the identification of the perpetrator, the extraction of DNA from the aforementioned sample and its inherent success depends very much on the part of the hair at hand.

Highly advanced DNA testing techniques, resources, money, and time are all factors which come into play when carrying out a DNA test. Forensic laboratories used by the FBI have more resources to allocate toward trying to extract a complete DNA profile from whichever sample is available, no matter how small the probability of successful extraction of DNA is. Thus, in crime scene investigations where meticulous searches by forensic teams yield a single hair, without the root or follicle, thorough and extensive DNA analysis will still be carried out despite the very low chances of success.

Source: Various US Medical Journals.

Method One of Three:


Cheek Cells/Saliva Swab

1
Refrain from eating or drinking, other than water, or smoking for at least 1 hour before taking the test.

2
Wear rubber gloves.

3
Rinse the mouth with warm water. If testing on a baby, allow her to drink water from her bottle before testing.

4
Remove a sterile swab from packaging and take care not to touch the swab end.

5
Scrape the inside of the check, under the tongue and behind the lips with the sterile swab.

6
Set the swab aside without letting the swab end touch anything and allow it to dry for at least 1 hour.

7
Cut the wooden end down enough so that the swab will fit into a plastic bag or other


The other two methods also prescribe few precautions like in case of hair, wash hair an hour before, use sterilized scissors, in case of nails clean them perfectly, etc.,

Source: http://m.wikihow.com/Collect-DNA


After knowing so much, I wondered news agencies reporting hundreds of JDU, RJD volunteers meeting at one place and cutting hair or nails with the same scissors and keeping it in an almost dirty cover. (Photo image is not available unfortunately). What do we remember, the ink show, the slap show or the stone show of AAP? So, this is what a ten year CM learned from a five month CM, without portfolio and his MLAs are being booked day in and day out on criminal charges?  May be he aligned with convict Lalu and AK as these guys have something seriously wrong in their upbringing. Moreover, 90% of the normal tests give the same DNA to all humans. (From Medical sources).  The minute tests of 10% conducted on clean samples as advocated supra, will only give the exact result. (Source: US Medical journal) It is an arduous process and involves money. Hope Modi increases the special package to Bihar by few thousands of crores for this purpose. Or, if you collect hair samples of crores of devotees on Tirumala Hills, they show the same DNA. Hope Nitish stops this Tom Foolery. Tricks may win one election but ultimately, good work only will win polls.


Now, let consider the nitty- gritty of the arduous process of collecting samples.

HUMOR PART OF THE BLOG:



How does the duo go on a collecting spree of DNA samples and how the other followers help them?

Nitish and Lalu start on a journey to collect samples in Patna. Patna must have been cosmopolitan, where people from various states live together. (I never visited)


They meet a pedestrian. They stop the ten vehicles carrying sterilized scissors, plastic bags, hair shampoos, water tankers, buckets, soaps, nail cutters, nail cleaners etc., (Lalu is an expert in hair cutting. If you visit old news-papers, you will find him cutting hairs of villagers so that they do not look like the Kings of Magadh, with long hairs and so, they will not be a competition in future.)

"Hey! You! We want to collect your DNA sample. Which one do you prefer to give, spit, hair cut or nail cut?"

"I cut my hair now only. Nails too are cut. So, I will spit."

"Come! Spit!"

So, he first spit on the face of Lalu. It spread on his white Banian and Dhoti. He was chewing a very fresh Zarda Kashmiri 120 paan. 

"Hey! I asked you to spit in the packet." Lalu shouted.

"You said spit and I spit. What is wrong in this kind of spit politics?"

"But, this is a criminal act! (From Rahul Bhai after sabbatical)

"I know! You are after my DNA. I am from NDA. You are a criminal, convicted. You deserve this."

Then he spit on Nitish.

"Hey! I am not a criminal. Why do you spit on me? ".

"For joining criminals and for taking advice from liars"

Dishonoured, disgusted they went back. "This is not the method. We will consult AK", Nitish said.

"If you consult AK, CUTIFFFF", Lalu shouted.

So, that day was wasted. Next day, both started on the sojourn again with all vehicles in tow.

They stopped a neatly clad youth.

"Hey! Lad! Which one of the three samples would you like to give?

"Hair", he said.

So, they took out a sterilised scissors, Lalu cut his hair, packed it and asked his name.

"Ramnath Shenoy", he replied. "I joined Canara Bank only yesterday. I am not a Bihari. ". Lalu threw the cover and scissors.

"Do not treat public property like grass. Take the scissors, give to some poor rural guy, he will use it for cutting his moustache." He gave it to Lalu.

Lalu could not bear the insult. So he forced Nitish to abandon the project for the day. Second day was wasted.

Third day they started with the paraphernalia. They stopped a rural man this time. He came to buy essentials in Patna.

"Hey! You! What is your name? ", Lalu was careful. He felt proud, that he was cleverer than Nitish.

"Pappu Yadav", he replied.

"Are you from Bihar?"

"Yes"

"We are collecting DNA of Biharis. Will you spit, will you give hair or nails? "

"Nails"

He did not have fingernails on hands as he had been working very hard and nails never grew. They were on the toes.

Happy Nitish and Lalu sat down and cut his nails.  A passer-by like me  clicked the photo, sent it to Media, Press, SM, Reuters, ANI, AP News etc.,

Next day, the photos made headlines. "Are Lalu and Nitish falling on the feet of voters? Are they smelling defeat ?"

Arnob, Barkha, Rajdeep etc., conducted talk shows. 

"Falling on feet! It is great! Only Lalu can think of this. It is a new trend in electoral politics. Activists who have no terror cases to defend, lawyers who have no criminal cases to get bails for accused, NGO heads who are starving for funds supported Pariwar. Arnob called Renuka, and in between their shouts people enjoyed a Tamil serial though they could not follow the language. Some show!

After seeing photos of the leaders on the feet of voters and hearing Media guys supporting, all volunteers of Pariwar followed suit. Rahul, instead of standing with the suffering guys, started saying he would fall on the feet of the suffering. It spread like virus. So, they collected 50,00,000 nail samples and sent to Modi for DNA.

NDA IS OUR DNA:

In the meantime, villagers of all 85% villages met in meetings, and discussed what DNA meant. As most of these villagers were kept out of the education system by the jungle raj and Nitish could do a little only to improve comprehensive education to masses, they did not follow the word. A semi educated youth suggested it was a version of NDA. 

"So, both Nitish and Lalu are falling on the feet of voters to vote for NDA as each does not want to see the other as the CM? So, come on! Let us vote to NDA. Many of us do not like Nitish and many more do not like Lalu! But we all like Modi, which Modi is not our concern. Let us vote NDA, as it is in our DNA and our DNA is Indian. Sab Ka Sath Chalo!" The villagers decided.

This happened across Bihar, in villages, towns, cities etc., Meanwhile, Narendra Modi sent the DNA test results 
that read,

"ALL THE SAMPLES YOU SENT BELONG TO PROUD INDIANS AND GREAT BIHARIS WHO WANT TO JOIN THE MAINSTREAM OF GROWTH. BUT FOUR SAMPLES ARE GIVING CONFUSING RESULTS. NAMES ON THESE POUCHES READ, LALU, the convict, NITISH, the egoist RAHUL, the dimwit and PAWAR, the escapist. PLEASE SEND FRESH SAMPLES.".


Nitish outside and Lalu inside jail started biting their nails. No pouches were supplied this time to collect the nails. They swallowed them as they swallowed their pride.

VANDE MATARAM- HAPPY 69TH INDEPENDENCE DAY


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