Monday, August 10, 2015


"Tak, tak, tak!"

"Who? "


"Me, who?"

"To know that only, I came."

"I am busy. Come tomorrow."

"What are you doing?"

"I am viewing my marriage video? "

"Which one, first or second?"

"Do you need the info? OK, the second one."

"You seniors marry twice and at 45, I am bachelor still."

"Ask your mom."

"I asked, she said, my  brain had to mature."

"It is true."

Will you tell me , "Who am I? "

"Go to AMS. He is more experienced than me."

Tak, tak,tak.



"Me, who?"

"To know that only I came."

"I am busy. Come tomorrow."

"What are you doing? "

"None of your business."

"What are those sounds?"

"None of your business."

"Will you guide me?"

"No, go to MT?"

Tak, tak, tak.

"Who is that? "


This continued five times at five houses.

None guided. Disppointed, the Yuvaraja went home.

Next day, the five met at a seven star hotel and discussed. "This guy is disturbing us daily. What shall we do? "

"We shall send him on sabbatical. There our former Gurus (ex-Mantris in the Kingdom) established an Ashram, with hot line to Swiss Banks. They will teach him public speaking and not to disturb seniors, at wrong times"

So, the SYNDICATE was reborn. They convinced the Queen of the need for training as the enemy was very strong  and had the people support.

So, the Prince was sent on Sabattical. His eyes were blindfolded and so were the eyes of 1.25 cr people of the Kingdom, previously Queendom, so that none knew the destination. The former Gurus cum guardians of amounts stashed in Swiss Banks were contacted. "Teach him", was the message.

Prince reached Bangkok. He didn't know where he was. He was taken to the Ashram. His blinds were removed. He saw the Gold plated walls of the Ashram. The door of the former Gurus was closed.

Tak, tak, tak.



"Me, who? "

"To know that I came."

"Did you leave your suit in the cupboard?"

He did so.

"Yes, I left the Suit."

"Did you leave your Boots at the door."

He did so and said so.

"Come in Sarkar." called the First Guru affectionately.

He went in.

The Second Guru asked, "Did you know who you are?"

"No", the prince replied.

"What did you learn till now?"

"Suit, Boot, Sarkar"

The three Gurus were flabbergasted. They started teaching him who he was.

 He was repeating the same reply, "Suit, Boot, Sarkar". whenever asked who he was.

By evening, the three Gurus went into a huddle in the war room. 

"He has a split brain." First Guru declared.

"It is split into multiple atom sized pieces", the Second Guru confirmed. 

"My conclusion is that each part of his brain is absorbing a word and after three words the capacity of the other parts is dwindling. Now, we should fix his brain into one piece. They whispered into each other's ear. Finally, they smiled."

Next morning, Prince asked the Gurus. "Who am I? "

" Do you see lot of Hollywood movies? Now what you said was a Jackie Chan Movie" one Guru said.

"Yes.When I do not sleep in a Dalit home, not travel in Metro, not read election speeches, I see Hollywood Movies"

" Still, he is not married? Seeing so many Hollywood Movies?" Gurus whispered in each other's ears.

"What? Did you find who am I? "

" No! But we found out a way first to set your brain intact so we can teach you who you are."

They gave him a bunch of hundreds of books. These are written by Chetan. "He is a "FRICTION" writer. If you read, a lot of friction takes place in your brain and all pieces come together. He writes a lot of romance too. You can marry at least "Half Girl Friend"."

"Read and come back after a week. We will go to Switzerland and return back after depositing your fee there."

After one week they came back. Immediately, he asked, "Who are you?"

Gurus were happy that Chetan's friction worked.

" We are formers. Retired from politics and thrown out of Raj Bhavans after we were caught in sexcpades"

" Oh! Farmers, farmers" he repeated.

"The issue here is not who we are, but who you are", the Gurus said.

" Issues, issues" Prince repeated.

"Seems friction worked more than required" whispered one guru inaudible to others.

"What did you acquire from the books?" one Guru asked.

"Acquire, acquire", Prince repeated.

"Better to send him to his mother land", thr Gurus declared in unison.

"Land, land" Prince repeated.

"Yes! He can not overstay like FTII students, without paying fee", one impatient Guru said.

"FTII, FTII" repeated the Prince.

"We are not street vendors to bargain."

"Street vendord, street vendors" Prince said.

 "He will go or we will declare him a criminal". 

" Crminal, criminal", Prince said.

"He violated law of the Ashram. And the syndicate also by writing to us to help him on humanitarian grounds, if possible" Gurus declared.

"Letter, humanitarian, violation, law", he repeated.

"Moreover, he came secretly. He did not inform public or any authority. "

" Inform, public, authorities, crime, law, secret" He was talking incoherently.

The Gurus went to the war room. They decided if Chetan could not create enough friction in the reader none can. "We think his romantic fervor too came down reading Chetan too much."

So saying they decided to try Yoga.

Yoga Guru came. "Beta, stand with me".

"I will stand with you, I will stand with you" Prince repeated and slept.

So, he was sent back after two months, blindfolded.

Syndicate was happy, he wont be troubling them. They met him at the airstrip. "Who are you? " Prince asked. The syndicate fainted.

From then on, the Prince dismissed all script writers. First ten days he said, "Suit, boot, sarkar".

 Next he remembered land. "Farmers, they can not acquire land". 

He remembered street vendors, "I will stand with you", he said and slept in his cozy home.

Suddenly, he recollected FTII, went there and promised to stand with them and slept in s seven star hotel. 

Then he said, " .She is criminal" and repeated. Then "She violated law by recommending me" No rhyme.

 He is repeating this with no rhyme or reason. Queen was happy that parrot learned words. She also flexed muscles, closed fists, became agressive and all the Media guys clicked and aired an aggressive queen shouting with Sphynx like attendants standing behind.

Chetan continued writing. He sought public opinion. "Anything but friction", wrote back the syndicate. Now, they are meeting again to decide where to send the Prince and whether to "overstay" him there like FTII guys, so that they can carry on their married lives. (Marriage one, lives many). 

 Subham Bhuyat! Sarvey Janaha Sukhino Bhavantu!