Thursday, January 14, 2016




SAMOSA TAX - SOUL OF TUGHLAQ HAS THE LAST LAUGH - JUST FOR LAUGHS



In Rome (Scamia's own country), sitting and eating is luxurious. Restaurants (most) charge $2 per seat, in addition to the food charges, that are usually very high. No  surprise that tourists who are tired of walking from one spot to the other, pay through their noses to sit and eat. I feel no tax is paid to the Italy Government on these charges. After all it is God Fathers' and God Mothers' own country.

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In Telugu there is one famous song. It goes like this. 

విన్నారా విన్నారా ఈ వింతలు విన్నారా, సంబరాల రాంబాబూ శ్రీమంతుడయ్యాడూ

Raambaabu is a BIMARU guy who lives under the staircase of a multi-storeyed building doing daily chores of the residents there for the morsel of food they give, the clothes they provide and as gratitude to the shelter he has got. A good Samaritan gives him the "feel-rich-feeling" ( FRF) by singing that he has become rich. People of the building treat him as VVIP. What happened in BIMARU Bihar is a replica of this picturesque fakery. Is it not? Think. This Feel Rich Factor was sold by the government for what it is worth. When truth comes out, it is a different matter. Feel Rich will fall to Fell Poor again.

Nitish promised that migration from Bihar would be curtailed. He shot two birds with one tax, called Luxury Tax. Is it not? You know! He brought the car owners and Samosa eaters on par. You see! In Delhi, Bihari migrants who own cars enjoy the "LUXURY" only on alternate days.  Who knows? Other cities may follow suit. But imagine , in Bihar Samosa eaters can enjoy the "LUXURY" of eating luxurious samosas every day. What more incentive the migrants can have to return or new migrants from not leaving Bihar?

And this LUXURY of luxury tax will improve the infrastructure projects in Bihar. This is how  it happens. 

In Delhi, Mumbai, Nagpur, Hyderabad, Pune and other towns and cities where large Bihari population migrate, a boy or girl while eating Samosas rue the fact that his/her brother or sister or his/her fiancee is enjoying the LUXURY of eating Samosas in Bihar whereas the poor boy and have no luxury of that. 

Or, you know, the local Regional Party leaders/members may mock them, "Hey! Poor migrant boy or gal! Why dont you enjoy luxurious Samosas back home? Why do eat our poor Samosas?" Naturally, pride of Bihari migrants takes a hit and they may decide to retutn to Bihar in lakhs. Railways and Transport Corporations may have to run "Migrant Return" special trains and busses until Nitish + Lalu are in power. And, Bihar may demand its share in the pie, as after all it is Biharis who pay the extra fare. This prods Railways to lay special lines and allocate more trains to Bihar. Other State Road Transport Corporations too will vie with each other to improve road connectivity to Bihar! You see how much Bihar gains from Samosas.

And, besides the luxury tax that is sure to fill coffers of Bihar, share of Bihar in direct tax collections improves by leaps and bounds. You know, this is how happens. Income Tax Department sees immense potential in Bihar for increase in taxable population. So, like Pigmy Deposit collectors in banks, IT Department may appoint local youth as Pigmy IT collectors and investigators. To start with, investigators will probe people who are in the habit of eating the luxurious Samosas daily or odd number of samosas on odd days and even number on even days. IT department will make it mandatory that all samosa eaters should provide PAN numbers and they will be taxed at source. Those who evade taxes will be raided. And the Pigmy IT collectors will collect IT from the delinquent luxurious samosa eaters. This will not only improve the finances of Central Government but share of Bihar will rise substantially in direct tax collections. And, you see, hurrah!, the state gets immense employment potential. 

But there is a basic problem in collecting luxury tax from samosa manufacturers, who are mainly street industrialists or Income Tax from luxurious samosa eaters who are mainly hutment dwellers or pavement dwellers. Hence, Lalu+Nitish will take the next step in corporatising samosa manufacture. They may ask street vendors to stop samosa manufacture and invite big corporates and multi nationals to open samosa factories. Who said Bihar lacks industrialisation? With a stroke of pen, the luck of Bihar changes. Corporates and multi nationals will queue up. The street vendors thrown out of streets back on to the streets will be offered employment in these corporates as corporates do not have the where-withal of manufacturing luxurious samosas. The unemployed Lalu Pariwar will get Deputy CEO posts in one or the other corporates. Congress guys will swallow as many samosas as possible and will retain their fame as Scamosasters. You see how the economic landscape of Bihar changes overnight, thanks to Samosa Tax. 

There is another item of luxurious interest in the kitty of Lalu+Nitish. That is mosquito repellent. You know, even economist of the caliber of Dr. Manmohan Singh could not conceive the direct and indirect benefit of taxing this item. You see, this is how it happens. As in the case of samosas the  benefit of additional revenue through luxury tax and share in direct taxes will accrue. Besides, there is large potential for industrialisation and employment. You know, see how this happens.

Suppose there is a thousand crore mosquito population in Bihar. People will buy repellents and pay taxes. But stagnating the mosquito population will not benefit the state. So, the state encourages mosquitery like animal husbandry, dairy or piggery. In other words, you see, this industry encourages mosquito breeding as an indirect agricultural activity. To make it large scale, global tenders may be invited. African corporates from Nigeria, Uganda, Kenya etc.and secular corporates from West Bengal, Pakistan, Mayanmar, Bangladesh etc., will invest huge FDI  in the sector. Bihar will grow at 27% with a 27000 per cent increase in mosquito population and a corresponding increase in sale of repellents. And the increase in employment? You know, it will be multi fold. 

The soul of Indira Gandhi starts hovering above Patna. It is regretting the lost chance in removing poverty under Garibi Hatao. It is thinking, "If I only I had a chance of having these two Lalu and Nitish as advisers,  I would have taxed samosas and kachoris in North, Idly and Dosa in South, Pav Bhaji, Pav Vada, Dhokla, Kadi in the West and Bhelpuri, dry rotis and Murmura with Sev in the East. "

And the Soul of Tughlaq has the last laugh reading Indian history books. "They mocked me, the most intelligent ruler!" And Arvind Kejriwal tweets, " But for me, Bihar would not have grown like this." And Ashutosh tweets, "Bit fir uss, Bihari wuld not had growth like that" in his inimitable style. 

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SATYAMEVA JAYATHE