Wednesday, August 10, 2016

SHOBHA'S DE OUT UNTIL BARKHA OR SAGARIKA TWEETS STUPID


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How many of you know Shobha De? Few! Right. I too do not know until her latest tweet on the Olympians from India trended on Twitter, Face Book, Whats App, Whats Down and whatever is gossip of the millennium. She wished it. she got it. Now, she must be counting the number of people that fell into her trap after De himself, with bag fulls of money fell into her trap years back.  

See how it happens.


A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!" Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. What he saw was yesterday's paper. The man said, "Hey, this is an old paper, where's the story about the big swindle?" The newsboy ignored him and went on calling out, "Read all about it. Fifty-one people swindled!"

So, imagine. She must be counting "10,00,001, 002, 003 etc., For, there were angry reactions,blogs, columns, tweets, news feed, exchanges on Whats App and more and more for which I have no access. She had the last laugh.  She is in the news. That is what these model-turned-journalist - turned-aristocrat-turned-social worker-turned-writer-turned- oh! the list is infinite,want. Publicity without spending much. Shoot a "Cinkara", get into news, get bail, get acquitted. Everything is news. Is it not? How many can get it freely?  

These guys/gals know how to hoodwink people by their mysterious acts. We, the rabble, do not understand what they are doing and why they are doing. They seem to be doing the normal and trap us into believing that their act is either obnoxious and we hate and tweet or we accept and keep quiet. It is like the magician's trick. He makes the hat vanish and make coins appear in your pocket. When you know the truth, you feel "Oh! I too could have done this and become famous." You cant, for you follow few principles. Shed them like Shobha, you too can become famous immediately like "Instant Chai". It is said (In Telugu) that Brahma, the Creator creates some people when he is fully drunk with Nectar and oscillating and vacillating in intoxication  and does not have an idea of what He is doing.  Your AKs, Lalus and Shobhas are that category. Some follow Brahma in drinking Nectar and do what they are not expected to do. 

So, when she tweeted that Indian Olympians are a waste product spending Government funds, either she was doing it in the way of Her creator or she just wanted to enjoy the fun of it fooling all of us to comment on her so that people google her name to know what and who she is and some people might have bought her books to know what more rubbish she is capable of writing. Fooling the "learned" is easier than fooling the "unlearned". For, we know how to read and react and she knows that. If you observe, she makes one or the other out-of-the box comment to be in news, as readers are now fed up with her columns, her social life, her wayward attitude etc., She is in news, what if it is for wrong reasons. The Trump logic. "All news is good news", he said when the speech of his wife was in the news for all wrong reasons. It was free publicity, he chuckled.

For these guys/gals, fooling people and laughing is a pastime. We must take care not to be be-fooled, but we cant. Ignore them. We cant. See how it happens.

An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. "There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear." Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. "Now you must do the same," he told the class. After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed. "Second," the professor continued, "you must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this man's anus, but licked my index finger?" 



See! No one knew that the Professor was licking the other finger. Let us learn to lick the other finger and one day these guys/gals really lick the finger from the anus, by oversight. Then we can tweet and laugh. Pipe Dream?  May be!

Some people develop anti-thesis for every thesis. They can say,"Why explore Moon and Mars, there are billions that needed to be fed" It looks attractive. But, they do not say that the Moon and Mars missions are feeding billions already. For every Dr.Jekyll in their personality, they have a Mr.Hyde hiding somewhere in their souls.  This hidden Hyde shows his face more than the Dr.Jekyll. We should be grateful that these guys, Rajdeep, Sagarika, Kanwal, Barkha, Shekhar Gupta, Karan Thapar, Shobha De etc., and Twitter were not there during Treata and Dwapara Yugas. Or they would have tweeted.  

"Why should Rama use Brahmastra to kill Ravana. Instead he could have held talks and surrendered Ayodhya".  This is what they are doing with JK. Why use pellet guns, raise your hands, hand over JK to Pak and be happy. What they do not tell us is Pakistan is a notorious rogue state.

Or in Dwapara, 

"What right does Dharmaaja has on Kuru Kingdom. He should have accepted it belonged to Kauravas."  again like the JK issue.

If we tell Dharma and Karma and try to preach Gita, they do not either understand or counter-argue based on their impeccable knowledge of the Bible or The Koran. 

How much does De know about Olympics? Nothing! Or she would not have tweeted on the second day. In Hockey India is on top of pool B, in Gymnastics our girl sent shock waves in other gymnasts of the world by her unique jump, Bhindra lost by 0.01 points, is in fourth position and etc.,etc., Her aim was to be in the news. So say something antithetic  or theatrical. There is one famous novel  "Vanity Fair" by W.M.Thackeray, a story of "people for the most part "abominably foolish ". and selfish


We find one such character in the famous Charles Dickens novel "the Pickwick Papers",. The name of the character is "Mrs.Leo Hunter". These Journos, self-styled activists are full of vanity and little knowledge beyond their sphere of activity but they want to poke their noses in all aspects of life. What is De to do with sports? What does she know?  

She was a model to begin her career with. She was a successful model. But do models have enough knowledge about sports or politics or religion?  A million dollar question. Many models are dumb as far as worldly affairs are concerned. Their model in life is "modelling". See how the model here was knocked out by the Captain of a plane.

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving." Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving." The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this." He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to herself, "Why didn't anyone just say so." Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. The pilot replied, "I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York." 

So much for this model's knowledge.  Then she switched to Journalism. and you know how Journalists make their reports. They have immense knowledge of reporting every other aspect except the fact. See


George W. Bush is seen crossing the Potomac river on foot. The Washington Post : "President Bush crosses the Potomac River". The Washington Time : "Bush's conservative approach saves taxpayers a boat". Mother Jones : "Bush can't swim".

These guys are like five blind-folded men studying an elephant. You know the story.  

Of late, a disturbing trend in the society is that authors and journalists are thinking that they are eyes and ears of society but are only turning out to be loud mouths disturbing the tranquility in society. They think they have a God given gift to change Governments, society, values, rights (not responsibilities) etc., They think they are kind of Tantriks who can hear the future and whats App it to Society. Some people really fall into their trap. Those TRAPPED contribute to TRPs and ratings. Truth is otherwise. Just look at this.

A family was visiting an Indian reservation when they happen upon an old tribesman laying face down in the middle of the road with his ear pressed firmly against the blacktop. The father of the family asked the old tribesman what he was doing. 
The tribesman began to speak... "woman, late thirties, three kids, one barking dog in late model, Four door station wagon, traveling at 65 m.p.h." 
"That's amazing" exclaimed the father. "You can tell all of that by just listening to the ground"? 
"No", said the old tribesman. "They just ran over me five minutes ago!" 

All said and done it was Shobha's De Out the past two days. This will continue until Barkha or Sagarika, the Twins separated by fate tweet something stupid.  They must be readying their pellet guns to shoot at us so that we are blinded to truth!


Humor anecdotes sourced from

http://www.studyflight.ru/humour/humour.shtml

AND

http://www.jesseneo.com/jokes/journalistsjokes.php


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