THE CHURNING OF THE OCEAN OF MY LIFE - BOOK 1 -CHAPTER 1

 "THE CHURNING OF THE OCEAN OF LIFE – THESNAKES AND LADDERS – A GUIDE TO STRUGGLING GEN Z NOT TO LOSE COURAGE

 

- FIRST EPISODE

 

 

 

FIRST LESSON – AVOID ETCETRAS AND EXTRAS

 

 

 

 

Is this my story? No. It is part of history. Struggles of a middle-class youth who was burdened with inexplicable chaotic events in the early part of youth, both happy and sad, troubles unforeseen, changing attitudes of people, including kith and kin and the temerity required to face the snakes on the way and climb ladders.

Did I climb ladders or did snakes bite me? This is a day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month and a life of uncertainties. 

 

Pothanamathya summed up the philosophy of my life in a poem in Telugu by Pothanamatya, author of Bhagavatham in Telugu.

 

బాల రసాల సాల నవ పల్లవ కోమల కావ్య కన్యకన్
గూళలకిచ్చి యప్పడుపుఁ గూడు భుజించుట కంటే, సత్కవుల్
హాలికులైన నేమి, గహనాంతర సీమలఁ గందమూల కౌ
ద్దాలికులైన నేమి, నిజ దార సుతోదర పోషణార్థమై.

 

That means

A great poet finds it better to work as a farmer or dig for roots in the forest to feed his family, rather than handing over his delicate, exquisite poetry (compared to a young maiden with fresh mango leaves) to foolish, unworthy people for money, a situation likened to selling one's pride for survival.

 

 

 

As an honest, clever, hard-working, responsible and reasonable boy, youth or man, I never surrendered to external pressures. I swallowed the poison of envy and hatred.

 

This is not a story but a guide for struggling youth in a competitive world.             

 

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“Oh! Lord Shiva! I will never feel sorry whether I win or lose in the tough test you make me go through, but oh! My Lord! Please grant me the necessary mental strength to bear the burdens of life.  “

 

Being in the sixth stage of life (Shakespeare says there are seven stages in a man’s life), I feel it is apt that I tell about myself. From the day I saw the world through my own eyes, to this day, I will, hence, recreate the minutest details of incidents in my life. both good and bad. I will honestly record my faultlines so that readers do not repeat such mistakes, errors and blunders.

 

My Dream House that I never had a chance to live. 

 

 

 

 

But I went round and round, landed nowhere with no land to stand anywhere.

 

 

As there are many other actors in this sordid drama of life, I previously felt it was not in my best interest to speak about these issues.[CN1] [CN2] [CN3] 

 

Shakespeare defines “Seven stages of life thus”. Every creature on earth has to pass through all these stages before he lands in an unknown land.

 

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.

                                 

In this sordid drama of my life, there were many players, heroes, villains, clowns, jokers, heroines, supporting actors, actresses, vamps, gurus and followers. I produced, wrote the screenplay,  wrote the script, and directed my life, the end of which is not in sight. Hence, I can not blame others for any misfortune I faced during the prime years of my life.

 

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Shakespeare said

 

 All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women are merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts,

His acts are seven ages. At first, the infant,

Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms;

And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel

And shining morning face, creeping like snail

Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,

Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad

Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,

Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,

Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,

Seeking the bubble reputation

Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,

In fair round belly with good capon lin’d,

With eyes severe and a beard of formal cut,

Full of wise saws and modern instances;

And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts

Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,

With spectacles on the nose and pouch on the side;

His youthful hose, well sav’d, a world too wide

For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,

Turning again toward childish treble, pipes

And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,

That ends this strange, eventful history,

Is second childishness and mere oblivion;

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

 

But at this stage of life, I do not own any money or movable or immovable assets.  I still owe people a little money here and a little there, written off. A few liabilities here and there. What I am left with now is only my ideas and ideals. I have no further ambitions.

 

Seasons change; life goes on. Life is in cycles. It's like seasons that come and go, today you are high, tomorrow you are low.

 

Sometimes you are up, sometimes you are down. Sometimes you are happy, sometimes you are sad.

 

Sometimes you are clear about everything, sometimes you don't understand anything.

 

In every season of life you find that there is always something to do, there is always something to learn.

 

(My X Account says, “I am a lifelong learner” It is true. I learn more than I preach)

 

Instead of complaining about how bad things are, I use adverse events to get better, wiser and stronger. Instead of being satisfied with how good things are, I prepare for a time when things might go otherwise.

 

An example I will quote here at the cost of repetition later is when a Sardar Jee customer commented on how poorly I was keeping my children as a bank manager. I replied that they could be the sons of a manager now, but who were we to predict I would be a manager forever? There was a strong murmur floating in the bank that I was the chosen one to be sent out in view of my unyielding attitude and their paranoia that one day I would prove their nemesis if I decided to expose misdeeds of some senior executives of which I had record They knew that my memory was so sharp I could repeat the day and date and letter numbers and contents without referring back. And I was out, leaving my family to fight the bolt from the blue, in view of my intransigent attitude. The attitude of my wife and children shone like the hidden Sun after the eclipse ends. 

 

“Sweet are the uses of adversity,
Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,
Wears a precious jewel in his head.
And this, our life, exempt from public haunt,
Find tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones, and good in everything.”

― William Shakespeare

 

A great philosopher and a dramatist, Shakespeare gives us hope, just as a Telugu song says that deep beneath the ocean, one can find a pearl of immense value. Only, you have to churn the ocean to find the pearl.

 

Nothing lasts forever, not even your problems, not even your pain. After the darkest night, the sun will rise again; after the longest drought, there will always be rain.

 

Nothing in life is permanent; only God is. Whatever situation you are in now, one thing is certain: it will change.

 

Maximise every moment, make good use of the time. Both the good and the bad can work out well for you if you choose to let them.

 

Things will never be the same; that's just the way life is. You may not be able to change the seasons, but you can change yourself to adjust to them.

 

You can find joy in the moment, no matter how terrible it is and be patient, for a better day will come.

 

Time passes, things change, no matter what comes your way, never let it ruin your day.

 

Stay hopeful, stay strong, this too will surely pass.

 

If I faltered in my narration or on facts, and if anyone who was part of my life since childhood found any inaccuracies in the narration of incidents, they would be free to point them out. (I will explain or correct, and I will apolozige).

 

 

I will start my story with a confident statement that I am very intelligent by birth. That holds good today too. If IQ of all world citizens today is assessed, I shall stand among the first ten billion, I am confident, though it is not possible to assess so. Imagine my IQ as a youth.

 

If you have patience, please read my serial story in parts.

 

Prologue to my sordid story of life- "The churning of the ocean of Life "

 

I called my wife and told her, "Hey! Vani! I am writing my life’s story.” " Are you mad? What did you achieve in life to tell a story of it? I feel that if you are auctioned in the marketplace with a hundred rupees on your head, there will be no bidders for even a single rupee. The only thing you achieved was marrying me and giving birth to three intelligent and responsible children." I think these last few words, she did not say, but I imagined she thought so.

 

"How can you just strike me off the list of great people? If Gandhi and Sastry were born on 2nd October, I was born on 20th October", I retorted. "That zero only made all the difference like Rahul and Sibal, she said. My nickname in the prime of my career was LB Sastry, not only as I was looking tiny but as my decision making was fast and firm. He lasted eighteen months and I lasted eighteen years on top of our careers. 

 

My wife is very intelligent. Maybe she did not know that fact, or I eclipsed her so much that she was never allowed to know that. In the world, nearly ninety-nine per cent of people are intelligent. But they do not rise to the top or rise so, fall suddenly like me, for reasons I write about in many parts below.

 

Life is like a game of snakes and ladders. Some climb the ladders unbitten by the snakes and reach the top.  Snakes bite so often but stealthily that they do not reach the bottom of the ladder either. For these two types, there is no anxiety. The former is never afraid of snakes, and the latter are never hopeful of reaching the top and are atisfie Life is like a game of snakes and ladders. Some climb the ladders unbitten by the snakes and reach the top.  Snakes bite so often but stealthily that they do not reach the bottom of the ladder either. For these two types, there is no anxiety. The former is never afraid of snakes, and the latter are never hopeful of reaching the top and are atisfied with what they are.d with what they are.

 

It is not like that with my life. Every few years, I climbed a big ladder, reached the top, and confronted a snake. Bitten by it, I fell to where I had started. Another game and another game; it continued.

 

 

We cannot brush this aside as the result of our past sins or Karma. The repeated mistakes we commit, the other players moving their pawns cleverly or knowing our next moves, they pre-plan their moves and see that we fail.

 

During my childhood, I read the news about a very rich businessman. He was caught red-handed in a bribery case. When pestered by the media about how such an intelligent guy could fall from grace, he replied, " I bribed everyone in every step of life. “Show me one who did not do this in their lives. By one small mistake, I am here. Just see whether I am intelligent or not."  And he was acquitted of all charges, as he played his pawns and won the game. Now, he is on top.

 

Though it is not related to my own life story, I have narrated this as an example of a thin line that divides honesty from dishonesty. Those on this side of the line are branded dishonest, and those who have cleverly crossed the line are named honest. This may not be a general rule, but in many cases it is true.

 

There is one puzzle called "Rubik's Cube". It is very difficult to solve. Some solve it easily. We reach the last square, and it slips. Many try, try and leave it. Some continue trying till the end, and until they see the solution. I belong to the second kind. I never leave a task unfinished.

 

I am still trying to solve the mystery of life and its last square, and I am confident that I will solve the puzzle one day before I get the final call.

 

 

 

That sums up my life story. Now, enter the jigsaw puzzle of my life.

 

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First part of "The Churning of the Ocean of Life "

 

Can we name the story " The Life Journey of an intelligent and Incompetent"? But as Telugu Author Buchibabu owned the title, I would call it the "Churning the Ocean of Life by the intelligent and incompetent" During the churning of the ocean, even though poison, nectar and Lakshmi came, I got nothing or rather, I got everything. I swallowed the poison; the rest escaped me. So, let us fix the name. Like the character Budugu by Bapu whom Telugu-speaking people know, not only is my intelligence unparalleled, but the power of my memory is also almost unparalleled in my circles. I will give a few examples.

 

That I am very, very intelligent is a fact no one can counter. But one well-wisher once warned me. " Dear, good Chandramohan! There is no doubt that you are the most intelligent guy I have ever met. But the real problem is the fact that everyone you come across in your life continuously bombards this fact in your ears. It has happened since your childhood, and the other fact that now you know you are quite intelligent, you will never shine in life". I asked him to show a way out of the dilemma. He said I crossed all limits of arrogance in this respect, and hence, there was no way out. "You climb and fall and climb and fall. It is inevitable."

 

"The main quality of yours on this count is not heeding the advice of anyone and saying that what you told was the law." True to his words, I never heeded his advice either.

 

I will tell you how I have decided I am intelligent and why, before embarking upon how and why I fell from grace and again rose in life using the same intelligent planning in life, fell and rose, fell and rose and fell and rose. Now, my life seems stable. And who knows?  My arrogance stayed with me.

 

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In the village in which I was brought up, there was a severe dearth of food and a place for defecation. (khana, payakhana in Hindi). We did not have a dearth of the former.

 

There was a small Zilla Parishad Upper Primary School in the village. That, after getting enrolled there, I learned all 56 Telugu alphabets just by seeing and recollecting, was a fable. This fact was repeated earnestly by my parents until I graduated. As both are no more, you have no option but to take my words at face value.

 

No, No. No. Please wait. There can be proof. If one of the readers has patience, he/she can write ten four-digit numbers (like 4988, 9876) and read them out to me one by one. I will tell him/her the total. This capacity is as of now. I used to attempt this feat with 50 to 60 numbers in our office. Not only that, I could total these numbers faster than any intelligent guy could do the same on paper with a pencil.

 

Another instance. But here too, my word is final. During my fourth class, the school conducted a memory test for students in the 6th and 7^th classes. My fourth class-teacher, Smt. Sarojini Amma, who knew my capacity, might have recommended my name to the Head Master, who accepted my participation as a special case. The tests were:

 

1. They kept 20 items on a table and allowed students to look at them for five minutes, and they should write the names of the items in the order they were placed. (It is a strange coincidence that the same kind of experiment was done by the “Mentalist”, a man with perceived psychic powers. It was a nostalgic memory for me)

 

2. We should write as many words as possible with the letter "ka" and its equivalents like ki, kee etc., in Telugu.

 

I wrote all 20 items exactly in the order they were placed and wrote about 120 words starting with "ka". No student from higher classes, including my JEALOUS third brother, came anywhere near me.

 

The entire school reverberated with my name. Overnight, I was a child celebrity. Most probably, that day my arrogance took root at a very tender age and led to the sudden fall from grace at age 40, too young to leave active life. As a kid, I would not have imagined remembering the feat. But, the repetition of these episodes by my mother frequently and by my father sometimes, till I completed my graduation, whenever the topic of my standing first in class throughout my school studies came up, arrogance took root in my brain.  Subsequent successes in life gave me a sense of invincibility, and slowly, it developed into a malaise called hautuer.

 

 

EPILOGUE

 

A seeker should be content with who he is rather than continuously wishing to be someone else. It is a warning that endless ambition (like a mouse aspiring to be a snake, then, aspiring to become a tiger) can lead to ruin.

 

      True wisdom often tells a leader to let his

      Enemies commit their own mistakes rather

      than acting on pride, as the "sharpest blade is

      patience".

 

This is a lesson I learned after everything is lost except self-confidence.

 

Being Samrat is about mastery over oneself rather than just mastery over others.

 

A lesson Gen Z should learn early in life instead of regretting later.  Circumstances may not always help redeem the lost glory, despite self-confidence and guts. Karma, too, plays a guest role in some lives.

 

 

 

Instances of arrogant dictators, realising their faults in the latter part of their lives, are aplenty.

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