"THE CHURNING OF THE OCEAN OF LIFE – THESNAKES AND LADDERS – A GUIDE TO STRUGGLING GEN Z NOT TO LOSE COURAGE
- FIRST EPISODE
FIRST LESSON – AVOID ETCETRAS AND EXTRAS
Is this my story? No. It is
part of history. Struggles of a middle-class youth who was burdened with
inexplicable chaotic events in the early part of youth, both happy and sad,
troubles unforeseen, changing attitudes of people, including kith and kin and
the temerity required to face the snakes on the way and climb ladders.
Did I climb ladders or did snakes
bite me? This is a day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month and a life of
uncertainties.
Pothanamathya summed up the
philosophy of my life in a poem in Telugu by Pothanamatya, author of Bhagavatham
in Telugu.
బాల రసాల సాల నవ పల్లవ కోమల కావ్య కన్యకన్
గూళలకిచ్చి యప్పడుపుఁ గూడు భుజించుట కంటే, సత్కవుల్
హాలికులైన నేమి, గహనాంతర సీమలఁ గందమూల కౌ
ద్దాలికులైన నేమి, నిజ దార సుతోదర పోషణార్థమై.
That
means
A great poet finds it better
to work as a farmer or dig for roots in the forest to feed his family, rather
than handing over his delicate, exquisite poetry (compared to a young maiden
with fresh mango leaves) to foolish, unworthy people for money, a situation
likened to selling one's pride for survival.
As an honest, clever,
hard-working, responsible and reasonable boy, youth or man, I never surrendered
to external pressures. I swallowed the poison of envy and hatred.
This is not a story but a
guide for struggling youth in a competitive world.
***************************
“Oh! Lord Shiva! I will never
feel sorry whether I win or lose in the tough test you make me go through, but
oh! My Lord! Please grant me the necessary mental strength to bear the burdens
of life. “
Being in the sixth stage of
life (Shakespeare says there are seven stages in a man’s life), I feel it is
apt that I tell about myself. From the day I saw the world through my own eyes,
to this day, I will, hence, recreate the minutest details of incidents in my
life. both good and bad. I will honestly record my faultlines so that readers
do not repeat such mistakes, errors and blunders.
My Dream House that I never
had a chance to live.
But I went round
and round, landed nowhere with no land to stand anywhere.
As there are many other actors in this sordid drama of life, I
previously felt it was not in my best interest to speak about these issues.[CN1] [CN2] [CN3]
Shakespeare
defines “Seven stages of life thus”. Every creature on earth has to pass
through all these stages before he lands in an unknown land.
All the world's a
stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.
In this sordid drama of my
life, there were many players, heroes, villains, clowns, jokers, heroines,
supporting actors, actresses, vamps, gurus and followers. I produced, wrote the
screenplay, wrote the script, and directed
my life, the end of which is not in sight. Hence, I can not blame others for
any misfortune I faced during the prime years of my life.
************************************************************
Shakespeare said
All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women are merely
players;
They have their exits and
their entrances;
And one man in his time plays
many parts,
His acts are seven ages. At
first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the
nurse’s arms;
And then the whining
school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face,
creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And
then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a
woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow.
Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and
bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and
quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth.
And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good
capon lin’d,
With eyes severe and a beard
of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern
instances;
And so he plays his part. The
sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered
pantaloon,
With spectacles on the nose
and pouch on the side;
His youthful hose, well sav’d,
a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his
big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish
treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound.
Last scene of all,
That ends this strange,
eventful history,
Is second childishness and
mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans
taste, sans everything.
But at this stage of life, I
do not own any money or movable or immovable assets. I still owe people a little money here and a
little there, written off. A few liabilities here and there. What I am
left with now is only my ideas and ideals. I have no further ambitions.
Seasons change; life goes on.
Life is in cycles. It's like seasons that come and go, today you are high,
tomorrow you are low.
Sometimes you are up,
sometimes you are down. Sometimes you are happy, sometimes you are sad.
Sometimes you are clear about
everything, sometimes you don't understand anything.
In every season of life you
find that there is always something to do, there is always something to learn.
(My X Account says, “I am a lifelong
learner” It is true. I learn more than I preach)
Instead of complaining about
how bad things are, I use adverse events to get better, wiser and stronger.
Instead of being satisfied with how good things are, I prepare for a time when
things might go otherwise.
An example I will quote here
at the cost of repetition later is when a Sardar Jee customer commented on how
poorly I was keeping my children as a bank manager. I replied that they could
be the sons of a manager now, but who were we to predict I would be a manager
forever? There was a strong murmur floating in the bank that I was the chosen
one to be sent out in view of my unyielding attitude and their paranoia that
one day I would prove their nemesis if I decided to expose misdeeds of some
senior executives of which I had record They knew that my memory was so sharp I
could repeat the day and date and letter numbers and contents without referring
back. And I was out, leaving my family to fight the bolt from the blue, in view
of my intransigent attitude. The attitude of my wife and children shone like
the hidden Sun after the eclipse ends.
“Sweet are the uses of
adversity,
Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,
Wears a precious jewel in his head.
And this, our life, exempt from public haunt,
Find tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones, and good in everything.”
― William Shakespeare
A great philosopher and a
dramatist, Shakespeare gives us hope, just as a Telugu song says that deep
beneath the ocean, one can find a pearl of immense value. Only, you have to
churn the ocean to find the pearl.
Nothing lasts forever, not
even your problems, not even your pain. After the darkest night, the sun will
rise again; after the longest drought, there will always be rain.
Nothing in life is permanent;
only God is. Whatever situation you are in now, one thing is certain: it will
change.
Maximise every moment, make
good use of the time. Both the good and the bad can work out well for you if
you choose to let them.
Things will never be the same;
that's just the way life is. You may not be able to change the seasons, but you
can change yourself to adjust to them.
You can find joy in the moment,
no matter how terrible it is and be patient, for a better day will come.
Time passes, things change, no
matter what comes your way, never let it ruin your day.
Stay hopeful, stay strong,
this too will surely pass.
If I faltered in my narration
or on facts, and if anyone who was part of my life since childhood found
any inaccuracies in the narration of incidents, they would be free to
point them out. (I will explain or correct, and I will apolozige).
I will start my story with a
confident statement that I am very intelligent by birth. That holds good today
too. If IQ of all world citizens today is assessed, I shall stand among the
first ten billion, I am confident, though it is not possible to assess so.
Imagine my IQ as a youth.
If you have patience, please
read my serial story in parts.
Prologue to my sordid
story of life- "The churning of the ocean of Life "
I called my wife and told her,
"Hey! Vani! I am writing my life’s story.” " Are you mad? What did
you achieve in life to tell a story of it? I feel that if you are auctioned in
the marketplace with a hundred rupees on your head, there will be no
bidders for even a single rupee. The only thing you achieved was marrying me
and giving birth to three intelligent and responsible children." I think
these last few words, she did not say, but I imagined she thought so.
"How can you just strike
me off the list of great people? If Gandhi and Sastry were born on 2nd October,
I was born on 20th October", I retorted. "That zero only made all the
difference like Rahul and Sibal, she said. My nickname in the prime of my
career was LB Sastry, not only as I was looking tiny but as my decision making
was fast and firm. He lasted eighteen months and I lasted eighteen years on top
of our careers.
My wife is very intelligent. Maybe
she did not know that fact, or I eclipsed her so much that she was
never allowed to know that. In the world, nearly ninety-nine per cent of
people are intelligent. But they do not rise to the top or rise so, fall
suddenly like me, for reasons I write about in many parts below.
Life is like a game of snakes
and ladders. Some climb the ladders unbitten by the snakes and reach the top. Snakes bite so often but stealthily that they
do not reach the bottom of the ladder either. For these two types, there is no anxiety.
The former is never afraid of snakes, and the latter are never hopeful of
reaching the top and are atisfie Life is like a game of snakes and ladders.
Some climb the ladders unbitten by the snakes and reach the top. Snakes bite so often but stealthily that they
do not reach the bottom of the ladder either. For these two types, there is no anxiety.
The former is never afraid of snakes, and the latter are never hopeful of
reaching the top and are atisfied with what they are.d with what they are.
It is not like that with my
life. Every few years, I climbed a big ladder, reached the top, and confronted
a snake. Bitten by it, I fell to where I had started. Another game and another
game; it continued.
We cannot brush this aside as
the result of our past sins or Karma. The repeated mistakes we commit, the
other players moving their pawns cleverly or knowing our next moves, they
pre-plan their moves and see that we fail.
During my childhood, I read the
news about a very rich businessman. He was caught red-handed in a bribery case.
When pestered by the media about how such an intelligent guy could fall from
grace, he replied, " I bribed everyone in every step of life. “Show me one
who did not do this in their lives. By one small mistake, I am here. Just see
whether I am intelligent or not." And he was acquitted of all
charges, as he played his pawns and won the game. Now, he is on top.
Though it is not related
to my own life story, I have narrated this as an example of a thin line that
divides honesty from dishonesty. Those on this side of the line are
branded dishonest, and those who have cleverly crossed the line are
named honest. This may not be a general rule, but in many cases it is
true.
There is one puzzle called
"Rubik's Cube". It is very difficult to solve. Some solve it
easily. We reach the last square, and it slips. Many try, try and
leave it. Some continue trying till the end, and until they see the solution. I
belong to the second kind. I never leave a task unfinished.
I am still trying to solve the
mystery of life and its last square, and I am confident that I will solve the
puzzle one day before I get the final call.
That sums up my life story.
Now, enter the jigsaw puzzle of my life.
######################
First part of "The
Churning of the Ocean of Life "
Can we name the story "
The Life Journey of an intelligent and Incompetent"? But as Telugu Author
Buchibabu owned the title, I would call it the "Churning the Ocean of Life
by the intelligent and incompetent" During the churning of the ocean, even
though poison, nectar and Lakshmi came, I got nothing or rather, I got
everything. I swallowed the poison; the rest escaped me. So, let us fix
the name. Like the character Budugu by Bapu whom Telugu-speaking people know,
not only is my intelligence unparalleled, but the power of my memory is also
almost unparalleled in my circles. I will give a few examples.
That I am very, very
intelligent is a fact no one can counter. But one well-wisher once warned me.
" Dear, good Chandramohan! There is no doubt that you are the most
intelligent guy I have ever met. But the real problem is the fact that everyone
you come across in your life continuously bombards this fact in your ears. It
has happened since your childhood, and the other fact that now you know you are
quite intelligent, you will never shine in life". I asked him to show a
way out of the dilemma. He said I crossed all limits of arrogance in this respect,
and hence, there was no way out. "You climb and fall and climb and fall.
It is inevitable."
"The main quality of
yours on this count is not heeding the advice of anyone and saying that what you
told was the law." True to his words, I never heeded his advice either.
I will tell you how I have
decided I am intelligent and why, before embarking upon how and why I fell from
grace and again rose in life using the same intelligent planning in life,
fell and rose, fell and rose and fell and rose. Now, my life seems stable. And
who knows? My arrogance stayed with me.
################################
In the village in which I was
brought up, there was a severe dearth of food and a place for defecation.
(khana, payakhana in Hindi). We did not have a dearth of the former.
There was a small Zilla
Parishad Upper Primary School in the village. That, after getting enrolled there, I
learned all 56 Telugu alphabets just by seeing and recollecting, was a fable.
This fact was repeated earnestly by my parents until I graduated. As both
are no more, you have no option but to take my words at face value.
No, No. No. Please wait. There
can be proof. If one of the readers has patience, he/she can write ten four-digit
numbers (like 4988, 9876) and read them out to me one by one. I will tell him/her
the total. This capacity is as of now. I used to attempt this feat with 50 to
60 numbers in our office. Not only that, I could total these numbers faster
than any intelligent guy could do the same on paper with a pencil.
Another instance. But here
too, my word is final. During my fourth class, the school conducted a memory
test for students in the 6th and 7th classes. My fourth class-teacher,
Smt. Sarojini Amma, who knew my capacity, might have recommended my name to the
Head Master, who accepted my participation as a special case. The tests were:
1. They kept 20 items on a
table and allowed students to look at them for five minutes, and they should
write the names of the items in the order they were placed. (It is a strange coincidence
that the same kind of experiment was done by the “Mentalist”, a man with
perceived psychic powers. It was a nostalgic memory for me)
2. We should write as many
words as possible with the letter "ka" and its equivalents like ki,
kee etc., in Telugu.
I wrote all 20 items exactly
in the order they were placed and wrote about 120 words starting with
"ka". No student from higher classes, including my JEALOUS third
brother, came anywhere near me.
The entire school reverberated
with my name. Overnight, I was a child celebrity. Most probably, that day my
arrogance took root at a very tender age and led to the sudden fall from grace
at age 40, too young to leave active life. As a kid, I would not have imagined
remembering the feat. But, the repetition of these episodes by my mother
frequently and by my father sometimes, till I completed my graduation, whenever
the topic of my standing first in class throughout my school studies came up,
arrogance took root in my brain.
Subsequent successes in life gave me a sense of invincibility, and
slowly, it developed into a malaise called hautuer.
EPILOGUE
A seeker
should be content with who he is rather than continuously wishing to be someone
else. It is a warning that endless ambition (like a mouse aspiring to be a
snake, then, aspiring to become a tiger) can lead to ruin.
True wisdom often tells a leader to let
his
Enemies
commit their own mistakes rather
than
acting on pride, as the "sharpest blade is
patience".
This
is a lesson I learned after everything is lost except self-confidence.
Being Samrat is about
mastery over oneself rather than just mastery over others.
A lesson Gen Z should learn
early in life instead of regretting later.
Circumstances may not always help redeem the lost glory, despite
self-confidence and guts. Karma, too, plays a guest role in some lives.
Instances of arrogant
dictators, realising their faults in the latter part of their lives, are
aplenty.
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