Friday, September 27, 2013


Politics in India is filled with fun.  But how can this be known to an onion? So, when a young man was released on bail even when the case of corruption continued, an innocent onion approached the “vegetable court” for bail too. Onion and bail?  No confusion here. Onion was in prison. The prison is called a godown. It is impossible to escape from here as it is totally secure. No government authority dares enter the cold storage godown. But onion can not say, “I am suffocating here. Release me.” So it told the court, “I am suffering in an extremely cold condition in the prison. It is like the North Pole.  So please grant me bail, Your Honor. ” The Onion Bureau of Investigation (OBI) objected to the bail as election is far away. “What is the relation between an onion and election?” the court questioned OBI.  “It is a big story.” the OBI advocate chuckled. “We will hear that later, but first tell us what the crime of onion is.” asked the court. “Quid pro quo” told the OBI. “What do you mean by quid pro quo?” asked the stunned judge. “Yes Your Honor! Whenever the common man tries to cut the onion to size, it demands tears from him. That is the Quid Pro Quo, Your Honor.” Convinced was the Judge and he asked the OBI Advocate to relate the story of the relation between an onion and election. An amused OBI advocate narrated the story thus.


The grand old party held a closed door strategy session. The discussion centered round the party strategy to counter the surging public opinion in favor of the opposition. They were alarmed at the prospect of the opposition winning the election and the post poll position of their wealth accumulation. The scion of the first family initiated the discussion. He forgot the name of the party that was opposing them in the coming election. He remembered only the leader named by the party to lead the nation as he was always thinking about him only. His state of mind was such that it was months after he visited Spain and hence his growing hair clouded his brain. So, he asked, “What is the name of the opposition?”  Unfortunately, all the minions present forgot the name of the party as their brains were filled with the image of the opposition party’s leader. But one who came out on bail from jail recently and still facing corruption charges remembered the name. And he stood and said, “Young boss, I know. It is JBP.”

Then, it struck the leader and all his yes-men too got their memory back all of a sudden. “No, it is BJP”, they cried in unison. “No, it is JBP, boss.” shouted back the bailed out jailed fan of the leader, who is always in utter confusion. “What is JBP?”, asked the Captain of the sinking ship, called GOP. “It is Jail and Bail Party”.  “Awesome! What is your name?”, asked the scion.  “You know me! I am always in the news for the wrong reason and my confusion. I am in-charge of party affairs, for a state south of the Vindhyas.”  The boss adjusted his hair so that his brain can peep out and think and said” Now! I remember you.  What an idea Sir, jee?”, he shouted. The congregation of the fan club saw in consternation and confusion. They wanted to call his mom. But in the meantime the champion young leader regained the function of his brain and asked the wrong one to explain.

“In fact, JBP is not our opposition, boss. It is an ally in our hour of compulsion. I was in the state under my charge a week back. I was stunned by the reception got by a young man in jail on charges of corruption released on bail, courtesy our agencies of investigation. The whole traffic was diverted. Our party leaders helped in halting the traffic for more than five hours to see him get a grand welcome. I went to the CM and asked why a person released from jail and on bail got such a huge reception and why they were helping him. He smiled and said that he would be our future savior in the election.” I was awe struck. A person facing charges of corruption and our savior?” I asked.

“Yes! All these are our future allies. Our Supreme knows we can’t win election on our own this time in any state.  So we initiated a process long back whereby we can align all political leaders of various hues. This is called “Operation Jail and Bail.” First we identify some corrupt politicians who are the most unethical when it comes to quid pro quo and imprison them. Then at the time of election we release them on bail, with help from agencies of investigation.  In the meantime we continue to bash them day in and day out, so that all the sympathy of voters they gain. We can use their sisters and mother, if required. Exactly before election we release them on bail with help from the agencies of investigation. Later, we align with them and form government. This is a quid pro quo arrangement our Supreme framed.”

“And young boss, when the CM told this story I was flabbergasted. What an idea, Madam! I shouted and swooned. When I regained, I told him that we could name these as “Jail and Bail Parties.”

The boss adjusted his hair again and allowed his brain to function.  He got an idea. “What is the rate of onion?”  He asked. “It is ten short of one hundred” replied all in unison.  “How many onions we kept in cold storage prison?”, the brain behind the scion asked. “Oh! Tons and tons” all chuckled.  “So, you ask OBI to see they get bailed out just before election. The price will come down.  Our common man in his state of mind usually forgets any crime. So once the onion price comes down, he will forget it brought tears even without cutting. So, once onion wins us the election we will admit it in our coalition.”

A very cunning minion asked, “What about the crime of the onion boss, the quid pro quo?”

This time the boss chuckled. “Oh! That will remain. We will keep it as our trump card. We will again imprison the onion, release it on bail and so on and so forth.  Onion! Zindabad”, he shouted.” The chelas joined the chorus.

The story ends here.

“So, Your Honor! The above story is self explanatory. With this I rest my arguments and strongly oppose bail to  onion until election.”

Onion chuckled and nodded its head. As the onion had no objection to remain in prison till election, the Judge adjourned the case till the next election.”

“After all!  Onion knows its power on common man.” thought the judge of the vegetable court back in the cabin. Amazed by the brain of the Supreme the common man looked in stunned silence!



Sunday, September 8, 2013


"I pretended to be an open book. But I was closed off and conceited." Coco J. Ginger. This quote speaks a lot about open books. So, when our PM said mid-air (he talks so much there), he might be quoting the above author! Or just as Dharmaraja said in the war with Kauravas "Ashwathama Hataha!" and aside he said "Kunjaraha" knowing that in the din of war cries the second part was not heard. So he remained truthful and honest. (The analogy is for the purpose of the assumed honesty only; nothing more or less) The PM too might have said aside, " Most of you Indians are illiterate, what can you read even if I keep my book open?" and might have chuckled. Who knows? In the din of the noise of the air plane the correspondents might not have heard or pretended they did not hear. Or his inner voice might be singing "Mera Jeevan Khulla Pustak, Khulla hi Rah gaya". (My life is an open book and it remained open"). Poor Man! What can he do? They opened it nine years back but he was not allowed to close it despite all the coal dust accumulating on the open pages.

Our PM is a Professor in Economics from Cambridge University. We do not know "What they do not teach in Cambridge University" (e la title of a famous book, "what they do not teach at Harvard University) but after observing him for a decade now we do know they taught him to be economical with his words, whenever he cant be a real economist. So he is silent on many issues that are not in his authority. Though in his inner heart he knows there are millions of words unspoken, he has no permission to speak those. But he says" I have nothing to hide", even while saying he has millions of words hidden behind his silence. If you want to call it "duplicity" he does not agree, for, he lost power to agree or disagree nine years back.

He is not a custodian of your thoughts, just as he is not a custodian of the/your files. Files too have thoughts. They have an inner sense as to what is hidden in each of them. So, our PM says, "They can think and hide themselves; why should I hide them?" We have to enjoy the fun in his pun whenever he is permitted to talk. In a sense, he said "I am not a custodian of your lives too". Or he might have said, "I am not custodian of your lives" only and in the din of "PM Chor Hai" noise, we heard him as saying "files". He got angry, "How can you call the chosen PM  of a nation "Chor"? Did you see this in any other democracy?". The fact lost upon him and the nation was that we forgot a decade back that we were a democracy; the day a PM was appointed by an extra-constitutional authority and he was not democratically elected. We forgot we should respect the post of the Prime Minister, when he started banking upon the advice of  an extra constitutional authority for whatever he said or did. As days passed by, we saw this decay spread like virus to all institutions that we are reconciled to a 'decayed decade'.

And the nation lost the 'state of its mind' when a few days back he said, mid air only, that he would be ready to offer his shoes to the young aspirant from the family, whom he respects the most. It is based on the theory of " Karma". Whatever is given is to be repaid and whatever one gives too is repaid. But the young man was reluctant to accept the decade old decayed shoes or he was unwilling to enter such big shoes so early in life. So, the PM again retracted his words, this time on Indian soil only, that he was not unwilling to carry on the work assigned to him for another five years.

But while returning from the G 20 summit he said, mid air only, that he would be ready to serve the Congress Party under the young leadership of the young man whom he earlier offered his worn out shoes. He also tweeted, "So and so is the ideal choice to be the next Prime Minister of India". And he seems to have forgotten what he said few days earlier. " We are in a democracy. A PM is not insulted thus" True! It should not have happened thus. But if he sincerely believes we are a democracy, he should have taken people's will as the final decision. After all, it is not a one man's choice to pass on the mantle of ruling the 1.25 billion people. People are masters in a democracy. His party should win first. If they have belief in the young man's ability to lead the nation and that the people are ready to accept their choice, the party should dare declare him as a candidate for PM post. This is a matter to be discussed in internal party fora, not with select reporters on board an aircraft. A PM who believes in democracy would have broached the subject in party fora.

Mistakes lead to desperation. In desperation a man lies and commits more mistakes. It leads to chaos. Chaos leads to confusion. In confusion a man loses sight of what he says. This is what is happening now.

Instead of beating around the bush with statements like,"thousand words behind my silence', "my life is an open book', "I am ready to offer my shoes" etc., the PM would do well to state what is written in the book and whether it is a biography written by someone or an autobiography".

“There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best parts.” 
It is time people see the cover and back of the open book.

Thursday, September 5, 2013


Since mythological times ‘jail’ has a special significance. Lord Krishna was born with in the four walls of jail. It is said when the uncle of Krishna has been forewarned of a danger to his life from the eighth born baby of his sister Devaki, he keeps both Devaki and brother- in –law Vasudeva in the same cell of a jail. Why they were not kept in separate cells to prevent birth of children is a question never asked and never answered. It is Divine Politics.

Present day ‘jails’ are filled with ‘divine men’ and ‘destined men’. The ‘divine men’ show you a way to reach divinity through various ‘divine acts’ in their serene Ashrams. The ‘destined men’ rule over the multitude and when chance occurs, jump over the walls. Funnily, even though they jump the wall a few unfortunate ‘wall jumpers’ are named “gate crashers” involved in various gates, sourced after “Watergate”. So they are taken through the gates of a jail and are kept under the cool comforts between the four walls of the jail. These ‘cool’ comforts are their “cells”. Though against rules, it is rumored that the ‘divine’ and ‘destined’ men are provided with cell phones to continue their divine and destined acts, mostly political in nature. If blown out, this will be named “Cell Gate” inside the jail gates and Media celebrates it with breaking the same news thousands of times. If it is from a hostile state to them, they might continue the act of breaking until the voice of news- reader breaks.

Many ‘wall jumpers’ are bailed out even before they are named after the gates by the powerful. These bailed out wall jumpers are provided with party tickets for future elections. Only yesterday one highly educated CM of a state tutored his future officers about this ‘wall jumping’ act by politicians. He named it “political corruption”. He sermonized thus, “Forget about political corruption. All the money amassed in political corruption is channelled back into the Economy . ” Hence, these ‘wall jumpers’ are provided security through various acts of the powers that be so that people that were fleeced of their tax money need not worry as the money comes back to the nation.  So, after right to information, right to education, right to your own food, now comes right to your own money.  Next elections might be fought with this ‘game changer” political arrow!

Some lucky among those ‘jumping the walls’ and involved in various gates come out of jail gates through bail. Once, they come out, their taint of corruption vanishes by a divine act and they reenter the political vacuum left by them. A beleaguered nation looks awe-struck as their followers celebrate, declaring that, ‘law takes its course’.  There is no fast track for law to take its own course. It is like a 10000 k.m. marathon subject to clauses, sub-clauses, provisos and what not? As a pill to the ailment, even if a PIL is filed and the highest court rules that it is against law to provide them positions, some divine act will again be enacted and security is provided to them.  

There are a few unfortunate cell inmates that won’t get bail. So what? They fast and get admitted in a Corporate Hospital to get relief. They run their political outfits through the four walls of jail. Their kith and kin run through the streets shouting about the injustice committed to the ‘innocent’ children of the nation. As I told because there is no fast track to run the course, the law gets exhausted at a point. People in India have a tendency to forget and forgive.  After a time they close the gates of their minds to all the ‘gates’ that crashed on their faces a few years back. They wish and pray that these innocent children be brought out, so that they can rule them over again.

There are other unfortunate inmates who are not bailed out by their ‘deemed Gods’ as law has to take its ‘course’. So, after a few years say five, six or seven they suddenly get back into their memory that they, in fact, followed the state policy on various issues. They consult their conscience or the conscience of the adversaries of their deemed Gods and mail letters from their cells accusing their gods of not bailing them out. “After all, we followed your policies. You could at least have missed the files to protect us.” Media breaks this news with vehemence and breaks it again and again. All political parties question the wisdom of the state in pursuing a policy of no-tolerance on criminals. After all, if the state followed a less no-tolerance policy these innocent guys would not have been in their cells. So the matter stands.

Here too, there is a mythological touch.  It is said Vasudeva fell on the feet of a donkey to achieve the divine object of Krishna  reaching his destination, so that he can eliminate the Demons.  In the present episode as to who fell on whose feet and the divine objects they have in mind are yet to be revealed. Then they become part of history! Or for help, the ‘divine men’ behind the jail gates might be approached to know the truth!


Note: Who 'jump' your walls when you are fast asleep or out of town? I hope you can guess. They don't need gates. Courtesy "Watergate" they are named gates here too. I would have named them walls like "Coal Wall, Spectrum Wall, Game Wall etc.,"

Sunday, September 1, 2013



“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” 

This is a continuation of my earlier blog under the same heading.
“It is not great if we try to overcome problems. We should see problems do not arise” he said, in Tamilnadu in March 2010. In Parliament he took an exact opposite view. He accepted they committed  many mistakes. He said  they created problems. In fact, they created problems in all states. In AP, for example. Does it make any sense?

“We are brininging more administrative changes to make governance more transparent.” he said while addressing NRIs in January, 2011. And on Robert Vadra he kept silent saying he is a private citizen. On missing files, he says he is not a custodian of files. Whither transperancy, if the PM iis not willing to bring political parties under RTI?

“We will take effective steps to bring back black money from other coutries”, he said in 2011 on the “vote of thanks” motion on President's address! How many times did he dodge this question taking shelter under multilateral agreements? Did he not know of these when he spoke in Parliment or was he misleading the nation?

“I never asked anybody to buy votes. It did not come to my notice if any one purchased.” he said to India Today, in March 2011. What honesty, Mr. PM? Why do you hide behind a veil always? Two mistakes make one good excuse. You go on doing blunders and show excuses. If PM does not know anything, why should the country have a PM? Cant it be self-managed?

“Take decisions without fear. For fear of future persecution, if you don't take decisions society will be further harmed”. What sane words from a Prime Minister? He never took any decision for fear of persecution. Result is total policy paralysis in the country.

“Rupee fall is temporary”, In May, 2012, on board special aircraft returning from Mayanmar. And the PM knows what the percentage of fall in Rupee since then is. Did he not know then they there were domestic factors? Was the economist in him not able to foresee future contradictions worldwide?

“Poverty is coming down. Real wages are increasing. There is fiscal stability in the country.” In CWC meet in June 2o12. Today the reality is, by their own admission 75% rural and 50% urban population are poor and require food security. Which one of these is a blatant lie?

“It is not difficult to achieve 8% growth rate. If you give us power again we will achieve”. He has to answer this himself. If we answer his prayers, as nation we are doomed! 

Whatever he has been saying during the past niine years was belittled by himself when he put the entire blame on the US, Europe n Syria etc,, and finally on the opposition parties who he says, did not allow him to work. He said “He was not a custodian of files” when asked about missing files. He, as well, seems to have said he is not custodian of our lives anymore. How can he take care of each life when he cant take care of each file? Opposition members shouted “PM Chor Hai”. They were not right in that. We accept. Except under Sec. 498A of Cr.PC no one is guilty until proven. But an Asaram Bapu is guilty once an allegation is made. He must be hanged, as per our news channels. Not Yasin Bhatkal whom the Bihar Police do not want to question, as their political bosses lose votes. It is a different secular issue for him/them.

Ultimately, he feigned anger on opposition parties, ignored the main issue and sought sympathy of middle classes who are waiting to celebrate his imminent exit. He wanted to reenact the 2009 episode. Then it was Nuclear. Now it is unclear to him and very clear to the middle classes. After hearing what he spoke, I feel he likes India and not the Indians. He likes India because it allowed him to rule for nine long years. He seems to have no prejudice! He hates all equally. He talks to himself because he seems the only one whose answers he accepts. World stopped caring him. Most times he refuses to answer the questions as he does not know the answers himself.

In the final analysis, it seems he is telling us “ I cant go back to yesterday as I was a different person then” From Alice in wonder Land! He lives in the past glory. We want future glory.

We can sum up thus. I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.” 


Note: This blog was intended to expose the lies of our Prime Minister during past nine years of rule. Hidden under the veil of honesty these sweet lies tell the 'story of India" whether growth or fall! After his speech in Parliament brazenly trying to hide the facade of lies and put blame on opposition BJP to reenact 2009, it is inevitable the ball is taken to his court.

The PM's quotes were courtesy "Eenadu" Telugu daily in a middle page column today under heading "Punayabhoomi" who painstakingly collected the PM quotes. I thank them. 



Like the layers of an onion, under the first lie is another, and under that another, and they all make you cry.” 

He looked 'pathetic', is a simple statement. I am not a vocal critic of individuals. I always try to maintain a thin balance between ideologies and individuals. But when I saw him defending his own 'facade' of honesty and his failed economics in the Parliament I could not but change my stance. Since this blog is about him, who, sans any ideology to boast of as his own, ruled us for nine long and excruciating years I am forced into a path I never tread, personal criticism.

There was vociferous demand from all quarters in the Parliament that the PM make statement on the sagging economy, the falling rupee, failing investor confidence and the impact of fall in all indices and constant threat of downgrading by rating agencies.. Added to this, there is the deeper malaise of banks being downgraded by rating agencies and the ever increasing NPAs despite all the window dressing done by them. And then there is fear of escalating CAD and Fiscal Deficit. All this comes up and above the deeper malaise of scams that ate into the vitals of economy. First, it was said he would intervene in a debate, that we seldom see! Then FM went on 'board” saying “all is well, it will end well, don't panic'.But persistent demand forced the PM agree at last to talk, on a subject he is deemed an expert. Alas! It turned out a damp squib. He blamed all in the world except himself for the present scenario! Shocking! All that later. Let us see into his personality traits and the various flip flops he committed during his nine year rule.

That he is an economist is known world over. What  kind of an economist he is, is an enigma always. Under the shadow of a maverick politician Mr. P.V. Narasimha Rao, he is said to have brought out Indian Economy from the abyss. That he was only a bureaucrat following orders in a known fact. When he was made PM by the supreme sacrifice of the single leader of the country, all expected he would show his mettle. That was not to be. Albert Einstein said “Two things are infinite; the universe and the stupidity; I am not sure about the universe” Stupidity at its heights of our PM brought us to a state where we even stopped thinking “what next?”

He is said to be honest. It is a facade. An honest man never keeps silent when, in his own name, lakhs of crores of public money is being fleeced by his leaders and lieutenants. And he says “Behind my silence there are thousand words” and then too he fails to say those hard words. Let us analyze a few of these “Manmorals” (we might name) during the past nine years. “You only live once, but if you do it right once is enough” is a good quote. He lived twice, both times he lived wrong and wants a third chance to make all his wrongs right. His growth story has at best become a boring, never ending serial.

In July, 2004 he wrote to the Chief Ministers “ We should transfer rights and powers to the people” What he did was to keep all his rights and powers in the hands of one leader and leave the nation in the lurch.

In August 2004, while addressing the anti corruption officials of states he moralized, “ With consensus, we should evolve fool proof rules and regulations for all departments for better working of Government Institutions, moral code of conduct for political parties and moral code to all the public servants.” Now we see CAG being demoralized by constant attacks, CBI being called a “caged parrot” by SC as its independence was compromised by none other than the PM himself, RBI Governor had to openly castigate the Government of policy paralysis and undue intervention. He commandeered the cabinet that brazenly sought to bring political parties out of RTI. He presided over a cabinet meet that sought to appeal in SC to reverse a landmark judgment on criminals not contesting elections! “Anyone who thinks sitting in a Church can make you a Christian, can also think that by sitting in a garage you will become a car” is a quote. If he thinks, by moralizing he can be sought to be honest, he is grossly mistaking us as fools!

While addressing Superintendents of Police in September 2005 he preached, “In your professional duty, you should not succumb to political pressures. You should draw a red line somewhere.” He is not a politician. But did he ever draw a red line? Instead he offered his worn out shoes to an Untested Tube Baby politician to lead this nation of many challenges (multiplied during his rule)! What a hypocrisy!

“Good health is the birth right of every citizen” he said in March 2006. But he singularly failed to arrange an ambulance to his only leader when she suffered from fever and other ailments right under his nose in the Lok Sabha. How is it with ordinary citizens?

“We should establish special courts to provide speedy justice in corruption cases”, he said in April 2008, while addressing Judges of High Courts. And what did he say in the RS the other day? “Corruption was there, it is there and will be there?” Did he spell out what he did to root out corruption? No. No.

“Government must be pro-active, imaginative and see that growth is inclusive.” he said while addressing CII in April, 2008. Then, why by his own admission, 67% population is looking for bare necessity of food? Why is the price of onion suddenly jumping? What is the per day income of poor you are assuming, Mr.PM? Rs.33/_ in Mumbai and Delhi? Is it inclusion in growth after nine years?

“If we are given a chance again, we will see that the country comes out of economic morass in hundred days” he said while addressing an election rally in Rajasthan in 2008. The state is due for another election. And he says in Parliament that they committed mistakes and domestic issues contributed to doom in economy? If he accepted failure so brazenly why does not he quit and rest?

“Not only small cases, but big fish indulging in corruption should be made to stand trial.” He repeated in the meeting of anti-corruption bureau officials in August, 2009. And what did he do? He made daughter of MK from Tamilnadu as RS member to secure his own seat, even when corruption charges on her are being probed. And how many big fish are booked till now?

“Government is taking all steps to bring prices under control within a few weeks” he said in CWC meeting in January 2010. After few years, the prices are increasing by leaps and bounds. The CWC is still meeting and taking disastrous decisions! He is quiet!


Note: This blog was intended to expose the lies of our Prime Minister during past nine years of rule. Hidden under the veil of honesty these sweet lies tell the 'story of India" whether growth or fall! After his speech in Parliament brazenly trying to hide the facade of lies and put blame on opposition BJP to reenact 2009, it is inevitable the ball is taken to his court. The second part will follow as it is lengthy already.

The PM's quotes were courtesy "Eenadu" Telugu daily in a middle page column today under heading "Punayabhoomi" who painstakingly collected the PM quotes. I thank them.