Friday, August 30, 2013

JUST FOR LAUGHS- BLOGS



This blog is intended “just for laughs”. Some are jokes I read here and there and some are directly from my life events.

When I was Manager of a Branch one client walked in and asked the officer sitting in the counter. “I met one short man last week. Where is he?” The Officer asked him, “Okay! You want a short man. Which Cadre? We have a short Manager, a short Officer, a short Clerk and a short Attender.” As I knew he came for me, I came out of the cabin and talked to him. And there were laughs for the next one month. I was 5'2” and the others were in competition with me!\

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When I was working in the Davangere Branch as a second line officer, I observed one counter clerk furiously arguing with a customer. He was asking him to bring his wife as the name on the account was “Sangamma”. The client was arguing his name was “Sanganna” and it was his account. As manual ledgers were maintained those days, while carrying forward from one page to the other the name was misspelled. We rectified. So much so good. In the evening while rechecking the postings I observed that on the top was noted in red ink. “Male account. Don't ask for females. It will be trouble” The joke went viral.

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When I was undergoing training with my co recruits, I went to a Malayalam picture with four guys from other states, one from Kerala. He was explaining the scenes and said, “In Malayalam movies the director kills the Hero/Heroine (like that) At which the other guys too responded telling who is killed in their movies. Finally one guy asked me “What about Telugu?” I instantly replied, “He kills the audience” Laughs all round

                                                                   $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$


Once me and my wife were travelling by train. Our actual age is almost same and on record it is only 11 days' gap. She looks twenty years younger than me (even now). The TTE was looking us by turns. I was amused and waited to see what he he would say. He did not , but I sensed his discomfort as we were Seniors and showed him her PAN card. Then he said he was really wondering!

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After returning from office on a Saturday afternoon, I asked my 4 year old daughter (eldest) “I am hungry. Is food ready?” She retorted angrily, “Why do you ask me? Inside your wife is there. Ask her” She was imitating my mother who retorts similarly! I got Rupees Thirty for sending this joke to the “Caravan” Magazine.

                                                                       !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


There was a Telugu joke I read. Two women were arguing in the train. “If you close the window, I will jump”. The other said ' “If you you open it, I will jump” A young guy sitting there first closed the window. One jumped. He opened it. The other jumped. He slept happily thereafter.

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Once, Abraham Lincoln faced a piquant situation. All were asking Ministerial post. Then he told a story. “There was a foolish king. Once he went out for hunting. While starting the washer man of the king told him it would rain. He asked him how he knew. He showed the donkey and said when it raises its head it rains. It rained So he removed all ministers and appointed the donkey as his minister.” One member asked, “So what?” Lincoln replied, “Nothing! From then on every donkey is asking to be made Minister” His problem was solved.

                                                                        &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

An Air Hostess asked a passenger, “Sir! Would you like to have dinner?” He asked “what are options?” she replied, “Yes! Or No.”

                                                                        >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

One Rangaiah died and became a ghost and sat on the tree in his backyard. It saw the troubles his people were undergoing and thought, “ Thank God! I am living happily as I died. If I were living, I would have died of all these troubles.”

                                                                        <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Two 90+ old men were traveling in a train. One asked the other, “What could be your age?” He replied “Might be 60 and about yours?” The first one replied, “Might be 55”. Then one 35+ guy fell down from the upper berth. They asked, “What's the matter?” He said, “ I am just born”.

                                                                        ????????????????????????????

Two guys were talking in a train.
“Where are you from” “Hyderabad”
“WOW! I too am from Hyderabad. Where do you stay?”
“In Ashoknagar” “ WOW! I too am! What is House Number?”
“1-10-94/B/1/C/22” “WOW! I too live there”
A guy sitting opposite was shocked and asked “You stay in the same house and don't know each other?”
One replied, “ We are brothers. Just killing time” In fact, they killed him

!More in the next one, if I remember more!

                                                                          ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))