Sunday, November 15, 2015

JUST FOR LAUGHS- IN BIHAR- BEE JEET GAYA BI HAR GAYA


JUST FOR LAUGHS- IN BIHAR- BEE JEET GAYA BI HAR GAYA

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Those who troll us on Twitter LOL, can hold a mirror. They will see "LOL". Now read.


It happened like this. An aspiring hero, who sold out property to be a hero, could not find an extra role too in films. One day he visited a street corner food joint (Poor Guy! There was no FTII then to offer free food) that was not visited even by the Congress' BPL guys. There he met his childhood friend, another aspiring hero, who was working as a supplier. 

"Oh! You are working here?" the guy who came to enjoy lunch mocked, just as Nitish mocked Lalu before he hugged him.

"I am not as pathetic as you are. I do not eat food here." the supplier-cum-aspiring hero mocked, just as Lalu mocked Nitish after both hugged.

This joke missed out of my mind till the other day, when I met two guys from Bihar in a local train. They were sitting opposite my seat in an empty train (it was not peak hours). So, I could over hear their animated conversation. They were talking in Hindi, but for convenience I will reproduce in English.

"You from Bihar? No 1 asked." "Yes! I am. You too seem from Bihar" No 2 replied.

"Do you live there? No. 1 asked. "Yes!" the other one replied.

"I migrated during Jungle Raj" No. 1 replied. 

"Whom did you vote?" No 1 asked. "Maha Ghat Bandhan" No 2 replied with glee.

"I voted NDA." No 1 too said with glee. "Oh! LOL" said No.2, just as many on my TL troll me when I continue writing the series "IT IS MODI ALL THE WAY' "You lost pathetically" mocked No.2.

'Not as pathetic as you are losing! I no longer live there.I pity you." No. 1 said with glee. If you see LOL in mirror it reflects LOL. Only, it is a matter of time.

The discussion leads us to the Head Line question? Who won Bihar? Is it the Bee that accumulates honey but stings hard when it is disturbed? Bee Jeet Gaya. Bi Har gaya. Bihar Gaya! 

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How did it happen in Bihar?  I am talking about the alliance talks and and how the Lion Nitish made friends with the fox Lalu and porcupine Rahul. Rahul,45 had an ambition to be king at least for one day just like L.K.Advani, 88 had and still has and will  have in hell too.  Advani can not be PM as he is eighty eight and Rahul can not, as he will not mature in mind till  he is ninety eight. God bless him with long life, so we can have a stand-up comedian now and bent down comedian later. If he will get PM chair or not is doubtful, but he will get a wheel chair for sure, in which he may dope or doze. 

I will tell you a story. 

Naseeruddin Hodja had a buffalo whose horns were set wide apart ( like Nitish and Lalu) . Hodja often felt an urge to sit on the animal's head between the horns, but never dared to try it.

One day the animal came and sat down very near him. Hodja (like Pappu) threw caution to the winds and seizing the horns swung himself into the space between them.

"Now I feel like a king on this throne between the two horns, Lalu and Nitish" told Hodja to his wife (Pappu to his mother). The buffalo, startled by the sudden invasion of its privacy, got indignantly to its feet, jerked violently forward. Hodja went sailing into the air and fell head foremost into a ditch. 

"It does not matter", he said to his wife. "It is not the first time a-wanted-to-be-king lost his throne." 

Now, you read how Nitish got rapped on the back by Lalu, the fox, using the small animal  Porcupine,Rahul with thousands of thorns on his secular body.

That was a bad day for our Mr. Lion King. During his chase

to catch a rabbit he sprang into a small bush from where he

came out not with the rabbit but with a large thorn in his

palm. 



He cried for help. He tried his best to pull out the thorn. He


shook his hand, tried to pull out the thorn with his mouth

etc. but all his efforts was in vain. The thorn began to smile

at Mr. Lion. 



Then he asked other animals for help. But they all feared the


lion. So no animals came to help him. 



At last the lion approached the clever fox. The king asked,


“Can you pull out the thorn please. I am suffering very much

with pain.” 



The fox said, “I am not very expert in this task. But I have


a little friend who is very expert in this work. I will

surely ask him to help you. But I have some demands.” 



“What are your demands?” asked the king. 


“It is not just food or money Your Majesty! You should


allow me to give you five kicks on your back!” the fox said. 



The lion king asked with surprise and anger “Do you want to


kick me? Don’t you know who I am?” 



“I know! I know! But it is not my need


to remove thorn from your palm. If you don’t want I am

going. Good Bye” said the fox. 



“Hey! Wait! Wait!” said the lion and he began to think 


for a moment “I am suffering with the pain of the thorn. It

has to be pulled out. Let him kick me five times. I just want 

to remove the thorn. After taking the thorn I will eat up his 

little friend.” 



The fox then began to kick the Lion King with his 


permission. One, two, three… like that. The fox called his 

little friend.



There comes a little porcupine. He pulled out the thorn with 


great ease. The pain in the palm of the lion was reduced. But 

his mind became filled with anger, grief and 

disappointment. 


What to say! He was very much disappointed in thinking 

how he can take revenge for the five kicks he got from the 

fox. How can he eat the porcupine with thousands of quills? 

At last he had to bow down before the great intelligence of 

the clever fox. 

A Little Friend

Got the point?  Lalu used Rahul to reduce the pain of Nitish temporarily, but we have to see how many more thorns he will have to face in the next one year, by which time the chinks are expected to come out into the open.

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Cause of the pain may be intoxication caused by Beef. Do not ask me how Beef causes intoxication. When it can cause intolerance in the whole 78% of population, except those who feign they eat Beef and wish to be murdered on Twitter, Beef can certainly cause intoxication. This may cause discomfort to the CM during nights and his governance may suffer.  More bombs may be transported in trains (today seven were caught) by dacoits who are out of the jungle and are ready to join the civil rights activists, apologists, secular guys, intellectuals,  beef eaters, Journos, anchors, talk show hosts, idle panelists, Wagles, Kulkarnis, Shotguns, Advanis etc.,,in securing democratic values. Even milk can cause intoxication. Read the story below.

One evening, a man carrying a can of milk stopped Mulla

Nasruddin Hodja in the street and said he had a problem 

and wanted his advice. 


"What's your problem?" asked Hodja. 


"My problem is that though I never drink wine I feel 

intoxicate when I get up in the morning," explained the


man. 



"What do you drink last thing at night?" asked Hodja

eyeing the 
milk can in his hand. 


Milk for Mullah
"Milk." 

"Just as I thought," said Hodja. "That is

the cause of your problem." 


"Milk causes intoxication?" asked the 

man, astonished. 


"It is like this," explained the Mulla. "You 


drink the milk and go to sleep. You toss

around in your sleep. The milk gets churned.

It turns into butter. Butter churned, turns into cheese. 

Cheese turns to fat. Fat into sugar. Sugar into alcohol. So 

you wake up with alcohol in your stomach. That is why you 

feel intoxicated in the morning." 



"So what do I do?" asked the man, bewildered. 


"Simple. Don't drink the milk," said Hodja. "Here, give it to


me." 


And taking the milk can from the man, the Mulla walked 

away, leaving the man gaping.



So, anything can happen in politics.  King-aspirants may be

kicked out. Small animals can be used to keep lions under 

leash.  Milk can cause intoxication. Bombs may travel in 

trains without tickets. People, anyhow, will not buy tickets 

hence-forth in Bihar, as old habits die hard.


SARVEY JANAHA SUKHINO BHAVANTHU