Thursday, December 24, 2015




So, Mohammed Bin Tughlaq  is reborn, will rather be reborn in Delhi on 1st January 2016 at 8 AM and will be back in his grave on 15th January, probably unable to bear the increased pollution levels. But to go to the graveyard, he may find it difficult as he may be owning an even number vehicle but he met his end on an odd date! Poor guy! And when I speak of this, I verify the list and do not find vehicles carrying dead souls to graveyards are not exempted. So, the traffic policeman (working under Modi?) may stop the dead soul and demand Rs.2000/- as fine, at which the dead soul looks to hell or Heaven for help. Yama's he-buffalo and Indra's chariot do not carry any numbers and cant enter Delhi until they have either odd or even number and are sent to RTA's office, seeing which Yama may comment "What a hell?" Indra may flee unable to bear the harassment and not seeing item girls, the four Apsarasas there.

In India, if a rule is passed there are thousand loopholes that our connoisseurs find. So, after the Christmas sale is over, AAP volunteers may start selling "women veils" to men. There are "odd"  day veils in red color and "even" day veils in green color. Each man can purchase two veils. The scheme works like this. A man wears "even' day veil on even day and goes to the office, masquerading as a woman. As lakhs of men are doing this even Modi's men cant stop these men. (and the inimitably vulgar CM tweets some vulgar language on Modi; that is the intention behind all this: noteworthy). So in addition to the nineteen lakh cars there will be an added 10,000 new autos, 6000 buses, many two wheelers hitherto unused to add to the pollution. Suppose, a police man catches a man masquerading as woman, can he stop his vehicle without causing traffic jams and further pollution? So, the men reach offices beating the rule. Offices make special arrangements before due date to fix hooks on all walls to enable men to hook their veils on. 

There is another danger. Nothing is said about "gay'  sex. So, all men with odd number cars on even days and with even number cars, on odd days may prefer to stick a sticker on the car reading "GAY CAR". This business of selling stickers is also allocated to AAP volunteers, who do no more work than abusing Modi on Twitter. This will pose a dilemma to  the Traffic Police. 

And what can a policeman do if the husband lies down incognito in the rear seat and his wife drives the car? It is impossible for traffic policemen to identify such cases in choc-o-bloc
k traffic. Another opportunity for the CM to be vulgar on Twitter.

This is funny! Vehicles carrying patients to the hospitals in emergency cases are exempt. It comes with a rider. Those patients should have proof. So, the policeman stops a vehicle and asks for proof. The attendants search for the proof for ten minutes and show. He allows the vehicle to proceed. As it was emergency and the doors of AC ambulance were opened to the pollution, the patient may meet his end. The question arises whether vehicles carrying dead souls can be allowed.  By the time clarification is sought, traffic may be blocked for ten kilometers. In addition to air pollution,  the sound pollution adds with constant honking by drivers. Just imagine the scene.

And then goes a list of VIPs and VVIPs. These blessed people do not travel in a single vehicle. Their vehicles are accompanied by a plethora of security vehicles, vehicles with bureaucrats, vehicles with attendants carrying files etc.,,

In the ultimate analysis, the only vehicle that does not go on road on alternate days is that of Arvind Kejriwal. This can be easily passed off. Only thing he has to do is to cough heavily on alternate days and apply leave to the Secretariat. He can view movies and write reviews. However, it does not pose issues, as he has already been doing this.

Who calls Arvind Kejriwal a fool?